Being able to care for one’s self is a cornerstone of independence, and for toddlers this starts with simple routines like washing their hands, getting dressed, and brushing their teeth. These aren’t just daily necessities—they’re opportunities for growth, building confidence and overcoming challenges. Practicing these routines also helps toddlers feel in charge of their own lives, something they deeply crave.

Toddlers often show a natural eagerness to take care of themselves, but this enthusiasm doesn’t last forever. Embrace the mess, the slow pace, and the occasional backwards shirt or shoes on the wrong feet —it’s all part of an important, valuable process.

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Preparing yourself

Self-care at this age is all about practice and discovery. A toddler may take several minutes to pull on socks, miss a few spots when brushing teeth, or choose mismatched clothes - and that’s good, because when we do things ourselves, make mistakes and experience the consequences we learn much more!

Instead of aiming for the “right” result, let go of any pressure to step in and fix things immediately. Remember, each attempt is helping them learn and grow. Your patience and encouragement will set the tone for how they approach these tasks.

The journey to independence

Teaching self-care is a gradual process, starting with collaboration and moving toward independence. In the beginning, toddlers will need your guidance and help - opening the toothpaste tube, modeling how to zip a jacket, or holding the mirror so they can see themselves brush their hair.

As they gain confidence, you can step back and allow them to take over parts of the task. You might say, “You can pull your pants up from the front, and I’ll help pull up the back” or “I will open the shoe for you and you can put your foot in”. When they ask for help, try to think of the smallest bit of help you can provide that will still allow them to finish the task mostly on their own. Soon they’ll be saying “no, I want to do it myself!” ☺️

This gradual shift from teamwork to independence requires attunement and observation on your part: pay attention to what they can do on their own and where they still need support, adjusting your involvement as they grow.

Preparing the environment

An accessible and child-friendly environment is key to fostering independence in self-care. Look at your home from your toddler’s perspective:

• Can they reach what they need? Consider using low hooks for jackets, a small laundry basket for dirty clothes, or a drawer for their outfits.
• Is the setup efficient? A mirror at their level or a small bench with shoes underneath and a basket with socks can make getting out of the house much easier.
• Do they have enough space? A bench or small chair can provide support for tricky tasks like putting on pants.

The right tools for the job (with amazon links)

When purchasing hygiene items to use at home, look for items designed with little hands and budding skills in mind:

• A small toothbrush that’s comfortable and handy.
• Elastic waistbands and loose-fitting clothing that they can manage independently, or bigger buttons that are easier to fasten.
• Shoes with Velcro straps or pull-on styles that don’t require tying.
• A small hairbrush that works well for their hair type.
• A step stool with enough grip and height, but still light enough that they can move by themselves.

See the list below for some suggestions, with product links:

Toddler self-care items

Points of interest